Sunday, December 29, 2013

The End of 2013

The End of 2013

     There has been so much going on this year and a lot of it wasn’t good. Grandma was in and out of the hospital this year (same as when I was younger) and ultimately lost her long battle with EVERYTHING in late October of this year. Thanksgiving and Christmas just weren’t the same without her this year. So many things will never be said because of her passing.
     I know that she’s in a better place. Her heaven; however, it doesn’t make it any easier for those of us left behind. We’re all still trying to find our footing without her. Even those of us who argued with her over stupid things; whether you loved her or hated her, you still loved her. You couldn’t help but love her. She was kind and gentle. Loving to a fault.
     January was much the same. Working and sleeping. Grandma in the hospital. February wasn’t much better, Valentines Day was nice. March, April, and May continued the tradition of Grandma’s hospital visits and continued up until August when she didn’t go in at all. September marked the first time (in a long time) that I didn’t get to spend my birthday or anniversary with Grandma or see her at all. She was in the hospital for two weeks that time. From the beginning of September to the middle of the month.
     October was the beginning of the end.
     The last time I saw my Grandmother was at the beginning of the month. She had gone to her bank and taken me with her, and it was the last time I saw her alive. By the time I had arrived in her hospital room, she was gone. It’s the first and last time I will be that close to a newly dead person.
     This year was really hard, as I said. Not only because we lost Grandma, but because we lost everything. Carlos and I lost our home. I lost the home I’d lived in for the last 10 years and four of those were with Carlos. Brandy lost her mother. I became a mother (to Brandy) and Carlos became a father (to Brandy). We’re still trying to a hang of that.
     Unfortunately, we didn’t have the nine months one normally gets when getting a child. We won’t get to witness her first steps or her first words (yes, I know that I did, but Carlos didn’t get to share in that with me or her). We won’t get to witness the first time she uses the potty like a big girl (again, I know I did, but Carlos didn’t). I’m sure there are people that want us to fail at it and we’re not going to.
     We found an apartment, it’s probably not the best neighborhood, but the apartment is great. We love the place. Finding it was an adventure. Moving into it was an adventure; we actually put off moving in as long as we could so that we’d have beds in the apartment and wouldn’t have to sleep on the floor! Not having a TV or computer or living room furniture was one thing, but that floor sucks!
     Oh yes, I nearly forgot! I participated in NANOWRIMO (National Novel Writing Month) and won! I received my T-Shirt and can’t wait to wear it. I will have a list of what I published this year in a separate post. November also saw the end of GZine. I’m hoping that once I get things settled, then I can start again. Maybe something different. Who knows.
     On TV things weren’t much better. Yes, I’m going to include TV shows in my year end blog. SPOILERS BELOW!!
     So, Once Upon a Time got a spin-off and it’s called—for it—Once Upon a Time in Wonderland. It was meant to be on during the summer, but got a full season request. It’s not faring well. While I love the concept of the show, it was too rushed and should have been done as originally planned so they’d have the time to work out the kinks. Time for re-shoots and re-casting if necessary; plus its on Thursdays and that’s never been a good slot (as far as I know at any rate) for shows on ABC (aside from Grey’s Anatomy).
     OUAT went to Neverland and met not only Peter Pan (who is evil), but also Rumplestiltskin/Dark One/Crocodile/Mr. Gold’s Dad! Then at the mid-season finale, Rumple kills his father and himself in the process! But not before his Dad, parading around as Henry, casts the Dark Curse once again. The only way to stop the curse is for Regina/The Evil Queen to give up the thing she loves the most: Henry. She as the Curse spreads through Storybrooke, Emma (arguing as only Emma can) and Henry leave Storybrooke and as the camera pans behind them…Storybrooke is gone.
     Jump to a year later and Emma and Henry are living in New York. Captain Hook returns to The Land without Magic (our world) and kisses Emma. She doesn’t recognize him! Then the screen goes black. Coming in the New Year, we’ll have the Wicked Witch of the West and a trip to Oz. Oh yeah, and the rest of our beloved OUAT gang? They were sent home!
     Carlos and I found a new show that we love, The Blacklist! James Spader is amazing as Red Reddington is fantastic casting. With everything that happened with Grandma, we’re waaay behind, but we’ll see all the episodes. Now would be the perfect time (I believe they’re all online), but Carlos wants to wait and do a marathon after the season is over.
     I also fell in love with Sleepy Hollow! Tom Mison is a wonderful Ichabod Crane. I’ve always loved Sleepy Hollow and the tale of the Headless Horseman. With this version of SH, however, the Horseman is one of the Four Horseman of the Apocolypse and Ichabod is resurrected to stop him along with a female detective. This show mixes fiction with history so well; it’s hard to believe that Sleepy Hollow is a real place!
     Back to OUATIW (Once Upon a Time in Wonderland). It’s a love story set in both Victorian Era England and Wonderland: while in Wonderland Alice falls in love with a genie named Cyrus whom the Red Queen tosses over a cliff. Grief stricken, Alice returns home (finding her father has remarried and had another child while she was gone; time passes differently in Wonderland) and is then sent to an asylum. She keeps rambling on about Wonderland and everyone, including her father thinks she’s nuts.
     You find out that the Knave of Hearts (Will Scarlet) has escaped Neverland and enters Storybrooke, only to return to England, rescue Alice, and return her to Neverland to find and free Cyrus before its too late. The mid-season finale (I think is what it was) finds Cyrus free from his curse of being a Genie and shows us (not the cast) that Will is now a Genie.
     Speaking of shows I love, American Horror Story! AHS is in its third season and it’s great! I haven’t seen many of the episodes because I didn’t have cable for awhile, but from what I’ve read I can’t wait until it’s available to watch on Netflix so that I can watch all three seasons back to back and compare!
     This incantation is subtitled Coven and it’s full of witches and voodoo priests and priestess! The location is in New Orleans, the hub (apparently) of witches and all things voodoo. I can’t wait to see this more in depth.
     NEW YEARS RESOLUTION: Not a traditional one, but one nonetheless. I plan on trying to complete every novel I have in the works (taking a month off for National Novel Writing Month in November). I also resolve on NOT starting any new novels (with the exception of collections) until November. I also resolve to try and blog more and to use Twitter more. Gotta get those sales numbers up!

     See you all in 2014!

Friday, November 29, 2013

NaNoWriMo

Just a short entry.
Final Word Count as of 11-25-13
So as many of you know, this month I have participated in NaNoWriMo. For those of you don’t know what this means, it means National Novel Writing Month (November). It’s a 50,000 word novel in 30 days.
I won! I finished on the 18th of November, but I had to wait until the 25th to validate my novel. So I edited the hell out of it and ended up writing 700 more words bringing my total up to 51,098 words!
Last year I found out about this ‘contest’ too late. I found out on day 6 I believe and I was only working on it 5 days a week (when I worked). This year I wrote every single day and it was awesome!

I ordered my T-Shirt and I received my badges and my certificate.
Certificate

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Suckish

Taken 3 years ago (9-14-10 my wedding day) Me, Grandma, and Carlos
So today is the third day of November and so far, it’s a bummer month. Today is the anniversary of my grandfather’s death, 10 years he’s been gone and things aren’t any better. Read below and I’ll explain.

A Timeline of Events
October 23, 2013—My grandmother passed away and I (essentially) become a mother to her adopted daughter (my niece) Brandy.
October 24, 2013—We start cleaning her room and figuring out where and how we’re going to be holding her viewing and burial.
Roberta's face
October 25, 2013—Things are still up in the air as the packing of her room continues.
October 26, 2013—My aunt figures that we have 30 days to vacate the home we’ve been living in for 4 years (10 years for me). She actually told us this right after grandma passed away, but she reiterates.
October 27, 2013—The viewing and funeral are this week and things are only getting harder to deal with.
October 28, 2013—More packing and stuff ensues as things are being put together for the viewing and funeral.
October 29, 2013—Today is the first day of her viewing and the first time anyone has seen her since she passed away 6 days prior.
October 30, 2013—Second day of viewing and the day before the funeral.
October 31, 2013—Said final goodbye to Grandma who received a military funeral because of my Grandfather. They’re together again.
November 1, 2013—National Novel Writing Month begins and I’m kicking butt. Final days of packing for myself, Carlos, and Brandy before we leave the house.
November 2, 2013—Brandy tries to come home, but we refuse. Trying to teach her not to be so wishy-washy when staying at someone’s house and how much it hurts someone to do that.
November 2, 2013—Roberta goes home from work early because she had a seizure. Only to find out that she was probably attacked at work after she goes to the hospital.



Right after
Things aren’t progressing very well. Finding a place is taking forever and we’ve already been looking for months. Getting things in place to get Brandy’s SSI and for us to adopt her is discouraging. We’ll more than likely need a lawyer and hopefully there won’t be any adoption fees, because we can’t afford that. I’m hoping she won’t be taken away since we’re living in a motel room.

I feel like curling up into a ball most days anymore and crying because everything is so up in the air and I don’t like it. I’m worrying about everything and not sleeping very well.


I know things will work out in the end, but right now with everything so new and raw, I can’t see it happening.

Friday, October 18, 2013

To Whom It May Concern

            Whenyou’re watching a TV or movie you come to believe certain things that may ormay not be true, but seem like that have some validity in reality. Mainly youthink that certain cliques stop talking to each other after school ends. Likethe ‘A’ group or ‘cool’ kids. Whatever they were dubbed in your school.
            Youalso believe that the other groups: Goths, geeks, whatever, kept talking. Thatthey weren’t like the others and kept in touch with their friends; theybelieved in the ‘friends till the end’ crap that is spewed. That’s BS. At leastwith my graduating class. The cool kids kept in touch while the rest of us didn’t.I don’t mind that, but it’s a shame! Its like saying that those of us who weren’tcool didn’t care about the friendships that we made when it all boils down togrowing up and heading off to school. Or something as simple as a lost phone number.
            ThankGod for Facebook. Thanks to this site I have reconnected with several peoplefrom my high school and more specifically, my graduating class. The cool kidsbecame ‘friends’ with me quickly while the people I was friends with took theirtime in reconnecting, again, not a big deal. But when I’m trying to speak withcertain people and they ‘log off’ or go to their mobile device where it can bemore difficult to receive texts and the like from Facebook it kind of ticks meoff.
            Itsone thing when a conversation you’re having naturally slows down and stops, butwhen someone says HI and you just shut off Facebook or your chat, that’s kindof mean and something I don’t understand. There are people on Facebook that I haven’tspoken to in YEARS and have been looking for, for as long as that: people thatwere friends from second grade and moved away or from third or fourth grade andmoved away; people that made an impression and impacted me in someway, so I’vebeen looking for them. These same people, who remember me, either simply ignoreme or choose to close their chats or don’t return message. Others simply justsay they don’t know who I am even though, for the most part, we’d been inschool together since KINDERGARTEN!
            Ithink, on that last one, that some people just don’t check their Facebooks asoften as others. Or they don’t recognize the last name. Whatever the issue is,if it was me, I would message the person to see if I knew them. Hell, there arepeople that I NEVER talked to in high school that speak with me now. That shouldtell you something. Whatever people. We’re grown ups and the rest of you shouldstart acting like it.
            Ifyou don’t have time, just tell someone. Is it that hard to do?

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Sh!t

To say that I have a lot going on is an understatement. Things at work aren't going well at all and I just don't know what to do. Do I stay or do I go? Do I lose everything that I've worked for outside of work because of what's going on at work? Hard questions.
I decided to dye my hair black again. Some may think that its a rebellious thing or a way to act out without actually acting out. Its not. I loved my hair when it was this color. It gave me a sense of piece and a sense of power. So when my husband got paid, I got the dye and I love it! Things at work may be suckish, but my hair isn't! I also love it because it brings out the golden (Cullen) color in my eyes.
Back to the work stuff. I seem to just be pissing off my bosses by being myself and doing what I'm supposed to do. Because everything that I do seems to be making them mad at me. Maybe I'm being overly sensitive, but when  your boss basically tells you that he doesn't trust you, you being to wonder. Am I being overly sensitive? I'd like to think I'm not. I spent the better part of the other day crying because I've given 3 years of my life to this job. Three years of my married life to this job, no less. I didn't get a proper honeymoon because I had to work that entire first week.
I don't like to make waves, contrary to popular belief. I like to keep to myself and keep the trouble to a minimum. I love my job and I don't to lose it.
I honestly don't know what to do.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Pissed

Pissed

Today (July 2, 2013) started off like the previous day, HOT!! I had some running around to do, so I got it done early and when I got back from doing said running around there had been a little surprise for me. That I won’t share as its not the reason for this blog/rant.
I was watching my niece, Brandy, until after Grandma got back from dialysis at about 11:30. When she did my sister-in-law, JoJo, myself, and my nephew, Nicky, ran to 7 Eleven for Slurpees and snacks. After we got home I went straight to bed. I slept until about 5:30 pm when my husband wakes me up.
That’s when he told me the reason for this blog/rant.
Someone has called CPS (Child Protective Services) on my 71 year old Grandmother and my brother! They are using Grandma’s health (which was known to CPS and the state of Washington at the time of Grandma’s adoption of Brandy) against her. There is also an abuse case against my brother.
Of course, my brother and sister-in-law are worried about what will happen to their kids. Which will be nothing. The most CPS will do is force them to live separately. They won’t take the kids.
Grandma isn’t doing well and doesn’t have much time left at all anyway. This case is ridiculous! Whomever did this is going to look like a jackass when it’s all said and done. I hope they realize that they aren’t just hurting Grandma and Butch (my brother), but the entire family.
Did they stop to realize what will happen to Grandma if she loses Brandy? It would kill her! Not only would they be breaking up a family, but they would be killing my Grandmother! Who are they? We don’t know. CPS wanted Grandma to come in tonight, but she said she couldn’t so they will be in sometime this week or next.

I wish I knew what was going to happen. For all I know they could take all the kids, kick everyone else out, and put Grandma in a home!

Friday, June 14, 2013

Updated Publication List

Updated Publication Dates



The Hotel Slayings
Amazon 11-22-11
Kindle 6-4-12

The Masked Killer
Amazon 6-4-12
Kindle 6-4-12

Ballerina
Amazon 6-4-12
Kindle 6-4-12

Recreational Murder
Amazon 6-12-12
Kindle 6-11-12

Fake
Amazon 6-15-12
Kindle 6-14-12

Trea Bella-Donna
Amazon 6-18-12
Kindle 6-17-12

Dew
Amazon 6-5-12
Kindle 6-4-12

Bored and Bleeding
Amazon 6-4-12
Kindle 6-4-12

The Scorned American
Amazon 6-5-12
Kindle 6-4-12

2030
Amazon 12-17-12
Kindle 12-17-12

Egotistical Mama
Amazon 12-25-12
Kindle 12-28-12

A Perfectly Secret Affair
Amazon 12-25-12
Kindle 12-28-12

From Me To You (NEW)
Amazon 6-8-13
Kindle 6-8-13

The Haunted Third Shift (NEW)
Amazon 6-8-13
Kindle 6-7-13

Lonely Nights and Crimson Lips (NEW)
Amazon 6-8-13
Kindle 6-7-13

Powerful Desire (NEW)
Amazon 6-8-13
Kindle 6-7-13

Espionage Garden
Amazon 6-5-12
Kindle 6-4-12