Monday, February 4, 2013

Seventeen Years Later


Seventeen Years…





          Joyce M. Hansen was taken far too soon. Seventeen years have passed since her husband shot and pistol whipped her to death in their home in Brush Prairie, Washington. Seventeen years since her son lost both his parents. I’ve heard so many things about why her husband murdered her. From what I have heard, he’d always been abusive and she’d finally had enough. She’d finally gotten the courage to leave him.
Joyce before I knew her.
          I can remember those last days of the school year and how excited Joyce was. She always looked forward to the Field Day (we all did). It was the one day that the school was divided and forced to play against one another. Blue vs. Red. If you had Joyce on your team especially in volleyball, you were bound to win. She was so competitive and excited. It was always fun to watch her play any sport as she was so athletic.
          Whenever I would go to the office after lunch, I served lunch more often than not, and I would watch her interact with the students. Joyce was always so loved by the student. She was like a second mom. In some cases, she was a third or forth mom.
          It’s been seventeen years and I can still remember that night. It was the night of March 17, 1996 around 9 p.m. My grandmother called me and my sister into the living room. It was past bedtime and Mrs. Morton, my sister’s seventh grade homeroom teacher, had been the one to call.
          Grandma sat us down and just told us. At first we were confused because Joyce Hansen wasn’t the only Joyce we knew. We had a neighbor with the same name. Once it had been clarified, it was so much worse.
Her parking spot memorial.
          I think the following day was the worst. So many of the students didn’t know yet and they didn’t want to believe it when they found out. Who could blame them?  To be a student and trying to learn anything was pointless. I’m sure to be a teacher and trying to teach was pointless as well. There was so much crying, not only from the student, but the teachers and other staff members as well. Boys and girls alike were crying. Even the ‘tough’ guys were fighting a losing battle. Many of the students called home and had their parents come to get them. Many of those who stayed sought counseling. Others just tried to get through the day.
          Over the following days and weeks flowers, stuffed animals, cards, poetry, and more flowed from her desk and down into the library. Even into her parking space.
Some of what my fellow Pleasant Valley Alumni
had to say about  Joyce soon after her death.
          Her memorial service was packed to standing room only. 1500+ people, if I remember correctly, attended the service held at nearby Prairie High School. It was heart wrenching as students, faculty, and parents gathered around her son and remaining family members.
          For me, and maybe many of us leaving the school that year, it was difficult. For my entire four years, as I got to know her, I couldn’t wait for Joyce to hand me my ‘diploma’ for completing middle school. Don’t get me wrong, Pat was great, but it was an almost bittersweet moment.
          Over the last seventeen years I have thought of Joyce fondly and often.
          I wandered what became of her son. Does he have the career he always wanted? Is he married with kids? A single dad? Would Joyce be proud of him?
          There isn’t a day that goes by when I curse our judicial system. I get her husband—murderer—was 52 years old and a former cop, but to give him 20 years was completely atrocious.
          How is that justice?

Joyfully buoyant and fun
Overly protective of family and friends
Yearning for freedom
Chances that were never taken
Joyce as I knew her.
Essential to young minds blossoming

Managing the office was a plus

Happy, always happy
Average in beauty she was not
Nagging wasn’t something she did
Sensing what young people wanted
Evolved so much more than the rest of us
Never forgotten

          How in the world could this have happened to someone like Joyce? This is something that I have been asking myself for seventeen years. How could Joyce be dead and at the hand of her own husband? Why would he do that? How could he do that?
          I’m sure that there wasn’t just one thing that caused him to do this, but it seems that because she was leaving him was the main one. Holly Meyers (Sonners) just sent me some of the articles about her death and they are ones that I hadn’t read before.
The inside of her memorial program.
          Did he love her so little that he had to do this? Did he love so much that was why? Was it a case of if he can’t have her no one can? Did he hate her so much? Did he love Mike, their son, so little hat he wanted him to be without both of his parents?
          There are so many unanswered questions that I doubt there will ever be an answer to. The only person who can answer it is Ron Hansen and I doubt he ever will.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

A Life Lesson from my Husband


How to Listen to a Woman

1.     Ask her how her day was
2.     Tell her she dresses up nicely and smells good
3.     Tell her she was right (sometimes she’s wrong) tell her she is always right
4.     Respect her and she’ll respect you
5.     Never hit her because she can make your life a living hell
6.     If she has a bad day tell her its okay, hug her, and a smile will appear
7.     Show her you love all the time
8.     Spend time with her and she’ll be happy
9.     Tell her you love her
10.            If she’s got kids and you’re dating her, say I’ve got your back through the hard times and the easy times